Shoo, Go Back Over There
September 28, 2008
September 22, 2008
September 18, 2008
Can't make these up
Ah these days, never a dull moment… Unless you’re name is John.
Palin’s transparency already exists in D.C.
Seems like a no brainer. Obviously she lied when she claimed it.
Preemptive Lying : McCain attacks Obama for something he didn’t say
Not quite a no brainer, but easy enough. McCain has early degenerative brain disorder.
Meahwhile, King George W was caught looking at this.
Schmuckabee : McCain's not a Regulator
Governor Scmuckabee knows something about John McCain that the rest of us don’t.
The Democracy of the Dead
Wick takes us through the conservatism movement, keeps his head about himself and declares support for Barry, all while holding his breath, drinking a glass of water and tying his shoes. Who knew?
Money Quote:
“Every great cause,” Eric Hoffer wrote, “begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.”
June 02, 2008
A Serious Note
Senator Ted Kennedy will undergo surgery. We wish him the best.
May 27, 2008
Better her than me
— Hillary Clinton
Ah, the memories
— Bill Clinton
Entitlement
"I have never seen anything like it.”
Yes, I have, it happened in 1992.
“I have never seen a candidate treated so disrespectfully just for running.”
Of course if she was running against me, I’d have her on all fours begging for mercy.
“I can't believe it. It is just frantic the way they are trying to push and pressure and bully all these superdelegates to come out.”
I have no idea who They are so gosh, I hope nobody asks me.
— Bill Clinton
Where was Harry?
There is no justice.
I told them it's harder than it looks
The lady in black stared off into the distance. There was nothing on her mind. She had cleverly hid her notebook under her right leg. Two aides stood in the background, awaiting her orders. The row of T.V.’s in her war room were all turned down, but that didn’t stop the Talking Heads from pretending she still cared. A memory so vivid it had to be real flashed through her head. She could hear, no feel the bullets as the whizzed overhead. There was a gasoline leak in the plane she had just landed. She thought, “I told them it’s harder than it looks”
May 26, 2008
Bernier Leaves Paper, Condy Furious
Above : Canadian Foreign Minister Bernier Maxime resigns after leaving classified papers in an unsafe place.
Below: US Secretary of State Condolezza Rice is furious after learning Maxime had a French Canadian girlfriend.
— The Ap Wire
G.I. Bill Schmill
As noted here
“I will not accept from Sen. Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did,"
— McCain & Able
Translation:
Any G.I. who doesn’t marry a rich beer baronness can’t be helped anyways.
May 24, 2008
Laces Out
“It seems to me that she’s blaming the field goal kicker for losing the game.”
– Jordan Jablansky
May 03, 2008
A True American
“A True American never labels anybody Un-American for whatever the reason, because whatever the reason, America stands for the freedom to believe in it.”
March 31, 2008
Well, He Deserves It
Stupid Reporter: Did you know that your friend Angelo is going to make 10 Million. What would you tell the average person who is losing their homes because of the policies Angelo faciliitated.
King George 43rd: I didn’t know that. But my answer to your, uh, stupid question, is that if he received it, then he probably, uh, earned it. And to the average person, I’d say that the enemy is out there, but don’t worry because, uh, er, I got it.
We Otta Stop These Elections
There are some people, cough*Obama*, that think we otta stop these elections.
I, I, I, I, I, didn’t believe we believed that in America.
– Billary
February 13, 2008
Isn't that
“a water sport?”
In a stall near you
Sits an old man, with slacks around his knees, trying to give flash gang signs to the poor soul next door for more TP.
What are you going to buy?
“Nothing”, says Jane Rep, “If we’re going to be in a recession, I might as well try to save it as long as I can.”
Of course they did
The skinny army captain, with the sweaty pits, walked in the room smiling. Under his arm he held a precious video tape in the manner an Englishman that came from Old Money might hold his walking stick or umbrella. He toed the line four feet from the desk where everyone was instructed to toe when addressing his graciousness, the President. When ordered at ease, he quickly procured the video tape and dropped it with aplomb onto the desk in front of the President who was cleaning a rifle that had been given to him by a wealthy business man from Louisiana in the hopes it would secure necessary business in Lahore. It had not. The President, looking annoyed said:
Well?
They confessed.
To which he replied: Of course they did.
In the Oval Office
King George: Why is everyone so upset about it? These are bad people that want to..
Darth Vader: Kill Americans.
King George: Yeah, and they also…
Darth Vader: Tried to kill your daddy.
King George: Yeah, Tried to kill my daddy.
Erstwhile, in a confined cell with the open air blowing in his face, Rock and Roll music blaring over the load speakers and a half eaten tray of food on the concrete next to him, Waleed The Terrorists, faces east, kneels and prays.
In the Spin Room
Peon: And what do you think of this guy? He did say he felt sorry for you.
Billary: Fallows? Isn’t he a pastor, which makes him a repukelican? Send out an anonymous message that says Barack listens to gangster rap music.
Peon: Yes Madame. What about this guy. He says you’re Schmuckabee and that means you’re a boutique. Flowers of course, that is Madame.
Billary: I know what boutique means, you idiot. Well, I think it’s time we fired somebody again. That brings in donors. Makes them think we are shaking it up, positioning for the states that matter. *Grin*. Tell you what, why don’t you fire the assistant to that loyal latino we fired last week.
Peon: If you mean Patti Solis Doyle, Madame, that’s me.
Billary: Well then fire yourself, Goddamn it! Do I have to do everything around here? If you all would just get out of my way I’ll be the first Presidentte, and clean house after that dirt bag that lives on Pennsylvania avenue! What? No, stop, I didn’t mean that personally, you’re a state that matters, really, stop crying. No, do you want me to call my daughter to cheer you up? It’s my job to cry. You can’t do it……
I voted for the 1st Lady too.
Shucks, it seems like yesterday I was telling ya’ll quotes from Tennessee, er, Texas. And so I voted for Hillary because she doesn’t stand a chance in November. Attacking a Clinton is like shooting carp in a barrel, you do it because they’re there, and also because you have a gun you haven’t fired off for no reason since sometime mid-morning.
– The Decider, Your King, King George the 43rd.
I voted for Obama
Because he sounds and looks like Eminem.
– Joe Dem
I voted for the 1st Lady
Because I don’t like Obama’s muslim heritage.
– Jane Dem
So that's my problem
Note to self, I wish it was the 1950’s again. Women these days, if they don’t have time for a little shake and bake, then what do they have time for.
– Slick Willy
I don't carry a calculator
Listen, I’m an evangelical christian catholic conservative christian catholic. That means that God does the math not me, and also, if my name wasn’t so funny sounding, or I was a nasty nazi italian from New York, you all would have forgotten about me already. See I told you God works in mysterious ways for us evangelical christian catholic conservative christian catholics.
– Governor Schmuckabee
Well they are states that matter, duh?
Of course Senator Obama doesn’t want them to count. That would mean he would have to conceive defeat. We are clearly ahead in states that matter and that’s the only thing that matters. Duh, by definition, if it didn’t matter then it wouldn’t matter.
– The Unauthorized Spinner
February 12, 2008
Hey Schmuckums
When you’re done telling the good people of Texas why you’d be a better president than me, do you think you can get me a scotch, oh, and a cigar?
-Slick Willy
Take that evil empire!
I’m not afraid to stop selling oil, even if it makes me poor. I didn’t win my permanent president bid and now you evil doers of the North who wage war on Venezuela’s economy will have to pay through the pump. I’m going to tour my favorite favelas and tell them just how evil you guys are that we can’t sell oil to you and build them better houses. That always works. Smells like smoke in here.
Adios
– Senor Hugo
Virginia doesn't matter.
It’s a republican state. Everyone knows that. Maryland doesn’t matter either and everyone knows Washington D.C. doesn’t matter cos it’s all Democratic anyways and will be blue in November. The only states that really matter are Ohio and Texas, unless they don’t go our way. Which doesn’t matter, cos we’re the best Candidate. And Mr. Obama doesn’t know what he’ll face come November.
– The Unauthorized Spinner
Don't believe in Hope
If anyone knows what torture is, it’s me. Listening to the Other Side, I am not only tortured, it’s excruciating torture. You know the kind our current administration does as a necessary evil to get information out of those bad people that want to hurt you. But that’s a necessary evil.
I hear there’s hope on the Other Side. Senator Obama and that senator “Rhymes with Rich” are all talking about change. They will destroy our country if you give them a chance. We are in a life or death 100 year war right now. All the horrible things that are going on right now will only get worse if They get into power. I know you didn’t vote for me eight years ago but what’s eight years between friends. I not only got a helluva lot older, I also got a helluva lot more conservative.
In closing, I want to remind you that there’s only one choice for the future. Four more years of Republican feartolitics and you’ll be safe.
Ha! Suckas, Lame Duck my A@@
Ubiqutious “They” here, yes that’s right, you know me, you love me. The Decider. Yours truly, King George the 43rd. People think I’m a lame duck.
Just got off listening to a woman talk to her husband on the phone, and you know what! She asked him to pick up some Duck Tape from the store. There were some other items, uh… you know, milk and what not. But you know who uses Duck Tape! Those people who you love to hate because they’re bad people! Terrorists!
I’d write more, by I need to go to ask Darth Vader if it’s OK to send in the Storm Troopers. This woman, er, I mean terrorist wants Duck Tape and we need to make sure we protect our borders.
Out. The Decider.
And just why can't I hope?
The network megalomaniacs decided to switch from Obama’s speech to McCain’s speech. McCain’s speech affronted me on a personal level. Bottom line: There are bad people out there that are going to get me. I guess after 30 years in the senate, that’s what politicians tell thier constituents to make them fall in line. I actually should look into whether he’s violating some of my constitutional rights. Like my right to the Pursuit of Happiness.
Ask not what you can do for you country remade?
Great line from Obama tonight
We’ll invest in you, you invest in your country.
Kinda reminds me of another great speech by an improbable candidate turned president.
more here.
Credit Slaves
It seems like a matter of time before every place in America has something similar to this. I’ve heard enough of credit for a lifetime.
Education Matters
More here
Both states are relatively well educated, which is a demographic that Obama has carried very well in past primaries
They are skirting with the obvious truth that only stupid people vote for Hillary.
10 Million since Super Tuesday?
Hillary claims to have raised 10 million since Super Tuesday. Now Hillary, does that or does that not include the 5 million you loaned yourself. I bet it includes it, and her 10 million figure is for spin. I think this is more like it.
Will Edwards sell or save his soul?
Edwards and Hillary had a secret get together. I originally thought Edwards would back Obama before Super Tuesday, cos it just made sense, but now I think he was smart to wait. I think his endorsement isn’t about who’s going to carry the Edwards mantle for working classes, that much is clear, Obama is far more aligned than Hillary every could hope to be. This is more about who’s going to win. Expect to hear from Edwards on or around the Ohio / Texas primaries.
February 11, 2008
Saying anything to get elected
This stinks of voter blackmail.
After being asked in an interview today with ABC's Washington, D.C., affiliate WJLA, why she hasn't disclosed her income tax returns
Sen. Hillary Clinton accused Democratic presidential rival Barack Obama of suspicious activity with a contributor
If she won’t disclose her tax returns until after she’s the nominee, then I hope I never know. At any rate, it’s a typical politicians move to switch the subjects. And as almost always the case with cheaters, they feel threatened because not what the other side did, but what they did.
I wonder what feminists would say to learn that all the money she’s using to fund her campaign these days came from Bill.
hmph.
Sign me up for her meltdown
After an internal shakeup this weekend, Hillary’s campaign seems to be focusing on Texas and Ohio. I always get irked when I hear spin like this. What? The states that vote in the meantime don’t matter? At any rate, I think Obama is looking more and more inevitable for the Democrats. I’m excited to see her meltdown about the issue. I reckon she’s got two or three (maybe four) crying sessions in her. And you know Bill’s got some good strained neck vein blowouts that are just being bent up.
We shall see.
January 31, 2008
Governator Push
As long as the Governator doesn’t pat McCain on the back, this should be a good thing. Being from Arizona, and knowing the history between the Grand Canyon State and the Golden State over water resources from the Colorado river, I find it interesting that Arnold is supporting McCain. But, I guess, the repuppetlican party is known for getting it’s ducks in a row.
Then again, Arnold’s been pretty adament about climate change and McCain would definitely be a start for the republican party to accept and realize that whether or not global warming is real or not is debatable, but polluting our environment is NOT debatable and is wrong on so many levels, especially the one neo-religio-cons love to invoke with a tinge of fear : The Moral Level.
January 30, 2008
Will they still wear socks and sandals?
It seems nudism is very popular in Germany, where it's called Freikörperkultur or Free Body Culture, and travel agency OssiUrlab says it will allow nudists booking a day trip to the Baltic island of Usedom to fly nude.
No mile high club tho, so I guess the socks and sandals will stay on.
Don't Tase Me Bro Encore!
Cops are a little bit tase happy these days.
Little too edgy, Edwards bids adieu
I’ve always kinda liked John Edwards, ever since I watched him debate VP Dick Cheney four years ago. Looks like today he’s dropping out of the 2008 race. If I could tell him personally I’d say good luck in the future. Good luck to his wife that’s in a battle of her own as well.
